Dietrich Bonhoeffer - Life Together 2

After a break away from this book due to various activities at church and work during the last few weeks I have returned to read the second chapter - 'The day with others.'

My main criticism of the chapter was that it portrayed quite a dry structure to devotional life with other people on a daily basis. There was to be a Psalm, a reading from Scripture, a hymn and a prayer - and the prayer was to be led by the same person each day. There seemed very little scope for variety and the moving of the Spirit. However, there were some interesting points.

Firstly, he writes of having a daily pattern of devotions at the start of each day as a way of focussing on God throughout the whole day. This includes sharing meals together through the day as well. Although it may not always be possible to share devotions each morning with the same group of people it did make me realise how I often neglect my morning devotions, or see them as using up valuable time if I am busy, rather than seeing them as imperative for seeing me through the day. Bonhoeffer also writes of these devotions being done as a family. How many families spend time each day in prayer and worship?

Secondly he talks about the importance of reading larger passages of scripture each day rather than just short verses or passages. The point that interested me was that we needed to read the whole of Scripture through in order - reading from the Old and New Testaments simultaneously. While I don't necessarily think we always have to read it through in order, I have come to appreciate that so often we neglect large chunks of the Bible - especially when our Lectionary only covers certain parts of the Bible.

Finally, Bonhoeffer speaks of every meal shared between Christians as being a time of recognising Christ's presence. He mentions the unique place of the Lord's Supper, but emphasises the daily meal as a time of being aware that Jesus is present. And with this in mind, I'm off to share my meal with my family - hopefully more aware of an extra presence!

Dietrich Bonhoeffer - Life Together 1

I feel very lucky - I only have one book that I need to read before starting pre-ordination training in September. It has been decided by the staff and continuing students at Wesley House that we shall all read Bonhoeffer's 'Life Together' over the Summer break as a way of preparing to live in community in September. I have only just started my first read through but was struck by a comment he made. He writes:

'Just as surely as God desires to lead us to a knowledge of genuine Christian fellowship, so surely must we be overwhelmed by a great general disillusionment with others, with Christians in general, and, if we sare fortunate, with ourselves.'

This stopped me dead in my tracks. I read that statement again, and then re-read it a third and fourth time. Surely God doesn't desire that I feel disillusioned with others or myself. I can't believe that the basis for a solid Christian community was disillusionment. As this sentence came within the first few pages of the book I resigned myself to not liking the book. However, I read on, and was glad I did when I came across the next passage:

'God is not a God of emotions but the God of truth. Only the fellowship which faces such disillusionment, with all its unhappy and ugly aspects, begins to be what it should be in God's sight... The sooner this shock of disillusionment comes to...a community the better. A community which cannot bear and survive such a crisis, which insists upon keeping up is illusion when it should be shattered, permanently loses in that moment the promise of Christian community.'

I have not read such a powerful and honest appraisal about community in a long while, if at all. How often do we, as Christian communities, keep up an illusion that all is fine, when in fact, if we truly want to represent God's image of community, we should honestly acknowledge, welcome and deal with our ugly sides, our failings and our weaknesses - both personal and corporate. There are very few communities that actively welcome people warts and all - but the church should be one of them. And just imagine how interesting church meetings could become if we lived like that!

Human Nature shining through

This last week has been a difficult week. My replacement has started and the early signs are great. He seems very confidant and competent. He was the person I wanted to be offered the job and had to argue for this to happen. What is more he is liked by all the young people and volunteers so far. Surely, I should be the happy about all this? But human nature has crept in.

We have just got back from a camp with some of our young people and despite it being a great few days and lots of fun, I came away feeling slightly upset that I am being replaced - replaced at work and replaced in the hearts of the young people. How easy it is for jealousy to creep in. I try to be more like Christ, yet it is hard as human nature is always fighting to come to the fore.

I'm sure that when I leave I will be happy we have such a good replacement. Happy that all the hard work I have put in will not be wasted. Happy that the young people I care so much about are going to continue to recognise their potential.

But for now, for the next few weeks, life is hard as I slowly draw back from one life and move onto another. Prayers will be valued.

Oliver Twist and Graham Kendrick

Friday night I went to Pizza Hut with the youth club I run as part of my work. A night out with pizza and young people is usually a good fun evening. However, this occasion was particularly engaging. As it turned out I was on a table with just one of our young people - a teenager with cerebral palsy. We often have discussions about faith and the world as his family are members of a local Anglican church. Tonight was no different.

We had a brief discussion about the theology of 'Shine Jesus shine.' He comes at the world from a very literal perspective which really made me think about what it meant to have Jesus shining on us - when he obviously doesn't literally shine on us. It was useful because we were singing this hymn today at church. I wonder how often we pick hymns and songs without fully thinking through the meaning of the words - or how we explain the images they talk of.

However, by far the biggest discussion was about Oliver Twist. This lad is appearing in a production of Oliver at his school. The discussion wasn't much about his role in the play, but rather about how upset the story made him - especially when Oliver wasn't allowed any more to eat. He couldn't understand a world where children didn't have enough to eat, where people had to steal to survive, where children were mistreated. He also couldn't understand why Dickens would want to write such an upsetting story.

This challenged me because I haven't tried engaging the young people I work with in issues of social justice enough. However, it also encouraged me because if we can encourage more young people to feel passionate about such issues as child neglect and poverty, then maybe, just maybe, we may have a better future. Charles Dickens wrote stories to challenge his society, I believe that we need modern day stories to do the same.

The Lord gives, and the Lord takes away

I'm really enjoying my job at the moment. Due to the number of activities we are doing each week I'm able to take Wednesdays off. This has led me and my dad to go out for a bike ride each week. Yesterday, we checked the forecast which said heavy showers were due by lunchtime, so we decided to risk it - despite the grey clouds overhead. We had been going for about one hour when the heavens opened - this was not lunchtime as they had predicted. Thankfully, there before us was a large tree - shelter for us from the rain. Isn't God good I marveled. He has provided for us in our need. Soon the shower stopped and we were on our way. However, when we were about 5 miles from home, and heading back along the towpath, the heavens opened once more. This time, it was no passing shower but a persistent deluge. I looked up, but there was no large tree in site - where was God now in our time of need???

As it happened, I really enjoyed the cycle home in the rain. We arrived caked in mud and soaked to the skin, but I thought it was good fun, I'm not sure Dad agreed. However, it did get me thinking that so often we only think of God being present when he meets our wants. We turn to him when we think our situation desperate and feel ignored if we don't receive what we ask for. How many of us have driven around car parks praying for a space, and that we spot it before all the others driving around, as though, just because we believe in God, he should give us that parking space first. I wonder how many of us in that situation stop and think about why the others may need the space before us. Or what should God do if there were two Christians driving round the car park looking for spaces - who gets priority? If you are like me, you will pray for sunshine when you are doing something outdoors, but then are worried when the farmers say that the crops aren't growing as there hasn't been enough rain. God was present with us on that bike ride. He may not have provided a big tree to shelter us, he may not have blown those clouds over so it didn't rain, but I did have a warm house and a hot shower when I got home - things that I could definitely be thankful for, and things that many others caught in the rain these last few weeks, because they have nowhere else to go, could only dream of. I wonder, what could we do to be the answer to someone's prayer today?

Struggling to let go

My time at work and church is drawing to a close. Next week I find out which college I will be going to for pre-ordination training. This brings excitement at what the next step will bring and where it will lead.

But I am struggling to let go. Last Friday saw the first time since I established a monthly cafe church at our church that I wasn't present and other people led it. Although I'm going back next month to lead it again, and although I'm delighted that the hard work of the last year is paying off and people who wouldn't normally talk from the front are offering to do so; it was hard sitting in the office knowing that life at church was carrying on.

I'm struggling to let go at work also. We are currently advertising for someone to replace me. We have had discussions about the role, and I have thought about the children I will be leaving. Some I may not miss quite so much, but they all feel like family. Just walking away and trusting someone else with my family is so very hard. I'm convinced that this is the right time to go. I have taken the charity as far as I can. They need fresh blood and I need a new challenge. But I still don't like the idea of someone taking over.

This has made me think a lot about when I get to being a minister. I never want to stop throwing myself fully into what I do. But at the same time I must remember that it isn't about me, it's about God. It isn't about me being popular, or even missed; rather it is about God's kingdom being built - and for some unknown reason God is calling me to a part of that.

Despite all this... letting go is hard to do.

Wooton Bassett - a true community

Did you watch the documentary about Wooton Bassett on Monday night? It was a really moving programme and I was in tears watching the family of a young man have to watch as his coffin was driven through the town. However, this isn't a discussion about the rights or wrongs of war - this is about community.

The documentary talked of Wooton Bassett being a true community. Members of the town said in this busy world, they still made time to stop, to remember together, to support each other. Friend and stranger was welcomed alike into the community. It was a community that drew others into itself. One man said that they could never look at the High Street in the same way again - that would forever be the place where the community gathered.

There was a lot of truth spoken. Communities should be places that share together. That laugh together. That cry together. That recognise the true priorities in life and stop when they need to in order to gather together. Church community should be the same. We should build a community that can share the good times and the bad times together. A community where people naturally will go, and where friend and stranger will be welcomed alike. We should be a community, just by our very presence and the way we are, draws people into it.

This followed on from the sermon I heard on Sunday. The reading was Jesus appearing to the disciples in the Upper Room. And the sermon focussed on the Upper Room. The place where the disciples gathered. A place forever of memories - good and bad. Doubt and faith. Heartache and elation. We so often argue that our church buildings aren't important - the church is the people. And of course that is correct. However, we do a disservice to our buildings if we see them purely as a space, devoid of any meaning, where we simply collect together. The place is important in building the community. My church has been there for 176 years. For some it is a place of celebration. For others a place of sorrow. For some, over the years, it has been both. Our buildings, while sometimes expensive, sometimes unpractical, are places of memories. And we need to be a community that openly shares the bad times as well as the good, because it is when we are truly community that we will draw others in. It is when we are comfortable with the place where we are, that we will be happy with inviting others in. And as people are drawn in, then the message of the love and grace of Jesus Christ, in good times and bad, will be apparent. And it is then that we will truly be community.