The end of a decade

This is my last day in my twenties - tomorrow I will become a 30 something. So please excuse my brief slide into nostalgia as I look back over the last decade.

I started my twenties studying theology with education studies at the University of Surrey, Roehampton (now the University of Roehampton). It was a good time - lots of fun, lots of friends. It taught me a lot about community and the need for regular contact to make communities work. I came into contact with many different people, from many denominations and faiths as well as ardent atheists and people who never thought about the spiritual dimension to life at all. I discovered that the stock answers that can be given as to why we should believe in Jesus and why there are so many problems in the world can often sound trite and even flippant. For many they certainly don't answer the questions that they have. I also learnt a lot about the challenges of managing change. At the end of my time at university there was a move to unite the four Christian unions based in the four colleges of the university into one big Christian Union. It wasn't a completely welcome move by many in our Christian Union but the ruling committee pushed it through regardless. I remember there being a lot of heartache at the time that has stayed with me. As church leaders we may see many benefits in change, but we must bring the people with us - forcing it through is not the way.

My twenties also saw me have my first period away from the Methodist Church. I worked for Homelands Free Church (affiliated to the Baptist Union) in Frinton-on-Sea, Essex. Whilst there I learnt that I love living by the sea (I miss that greatly now). I loved the intensity of the prayers that many of the people in the church prayed. And the fact that many old people (and there are many old people in Frinton!) saw that they still had a role to play - even when they couldn't leave their house. They would pray for the work we were doing. I learnt a great variety of ways of engaging with children and young people through clubs, house groups, holiday clubs and camps. But I also learnt what I loved about Methodism. I loved the use of lay people as leaders of worship and preachers, I loved the use of liturgy without dependence upon it, I loved the communal feeling during Holy Communion, I loved saying the Lord's prayer, and I loved the sense of Connexion.

I have also had the pleasure of working with children and young people with physical disabilities in my home area of West Berkshire. It has been a real challenge and privilege. Seeing them achieve so much is a real joy, seeing them struggle and disheartened about the future can be heartbreaking. However, it has also made me think how exclusive our worship can be. We may make the worship space accessible - but is the worship? I have also had to deal with death while here. We have had 2 young people die due to their disabilities. Although their parents knew the day was coming it didn't make it any easier. What an awful thing for any parent to have to deal with.

Death is something I have had to confront in my own family this decade. My cousin's only child died in a car crash a few years ago. Seeing the pain in the family still is horrible. What have we got to say to situations like that? Also my Gran, the last member of her generation died after suffering with dementia for a number of years. Seeing her quite rapidly decline in her mental capacity is something I don't want to have to see again, but preparing myself for the fact that I probably will. Also, realising that my parents generation are now the oldest generation in my family was quite alarming.

However, I am now also an accredited Local Preacher, chairman of the Thatcham Fairtrade Town campaign and Assistant Group Scout Leader at 2nd Thatcham Scout Group - all postitions of responsibility that I wouldn't have imagined 10 years ago.

And what of the next decade? Who knows what that may bring. I am now candidating - let's see what that brings in the spring. Either way it will lead to a change in my life as this is my last year in my current job. Hopefully I will have a family within the next 10 years. But this last 10 years has taught me that a lot happens that can't be planned or expected, yet in it all, whether I realised it at the time or not, God is there with me.