Thin Places

I have heard people talking about 'Thin Places', places where the gap between heaven and earth seems at it's thinnest, places where people feel closest to God. Maybe it is because I am moving away from Thatcham next week, but today I have spent some time reflecting on my thin places here.

The first is my church. It is not a very radical view, but it is true for me. This is the church I grew up in, I remember coming to Sunday School, social occasions, I became a member of the Methodist Church here, I preached my first sermon here, I became an accredited Local Preacher here. And if I walk in to the Sanctuary when no-one else is there, I can look around the chairs and picture the saints of old who used to sit in them, I can close my eyes and hear their voices. And if I walk in on a Sunday morning I look at the people sitting in the chairs now and it is like looking at my family. For me, that is what church is - a family. I don't know if I'll ever have this experience of church again, but it will be with me forever. This is one of the places where I feel closest to God, either listening to the voices of those around me, or hearing the voices of th

ose who have been and gone. We are not a perfect church, but in amongst the imperfections, there is Jesus.

My second thin place is Thatcham Lake. Again it is alive with memories of walks with Dad through childhood right up to the present day. But the reason I feel so close to God around this place is because for me it speaks of life in all it's beauty - and surely that is where God has to be. It is as I walk around it, as I sit on the benches, that I see life going on. Whether it is ducks quacking, children laughing, ripples running over the lake, there is always life. And it is there that I often choose just to go and pray, reflect, be still. It is a place where no words need to be spoken, but I can go and be still, and know that God is there. These are places I am going to miss. But I do trust that when I move to Cambridge next week, God will provide more thin places where I can meet with him.

Dietrich Bonhoeffer - Life Together 5

"He who is alone with his sin is utterly alone. It may be that Christians, notwithstanding corporate worship, common prayer, and all their fellowship in service, may still be left to their loneliness. The final break-through to fellowship does not occur, because, though they have fellowship with one another as believers and as devout people, they do not have fellowship as the undevout, as sinners. The pious fellowship permts no one to be a sinner. So everybody must conceal his sin from himself and from the fellowship. We dare not be sinners. Many Christians are unthinkably horrified when a real sinner is suddenly discovered among the righteous. So we remain alone with our sin, living in lies and hypocrisy. The fact is that we are sinners!"

So starts the beginning of Bonhoeffer's 5th and final chapter. He continues by writing about the need for confession - but not solitary confession but confession to another member of the church. Bonhoeffer believes that this is the only way of ensuring confession to God and not merely to oneself. This did make me wonder about corporate confession during weekly acts of worship. For many this is an important part of the service, but maybe for some it is just an empty routine. It also made me consider how churches could set about establishing a system of trust and accountability for this to take place if it doesn't happen already. I can imagine that many would initially be quite concerned about confessing sins to one another. However, Bonhoeffer argues that it is only when we truly humble ourselves enough to admit our faults to one another that we can have true community. I can see his thinking behind this, but I can also see the need for careful organising and preparation for the people to hear the confessions to ensure that it isn't used for harm rather than good.

Bonhoeffer concludes this chapter and the book by mentioning Communion. This is the perfection of the fellowship when the members of the community are reconciled through confession and then united around the table. I believe that confession is important. As a church I feel we have shied away from it as a subject for fear of offending or being seen to preach at people. However, sin should not be ignored. Maybe the best way of dealing with it is with it out in the open, rather than trying to appear perfect to others, while secretly struggling with sin alone.

Dietrich Bonhoeffer - Life Together 4

God's timing is certainly good!! I am almost starting my final week at work and it is a bit difficult. My replacement has started and I have found it hard letting go and allowing him to make changes to all I have done over the last 5 years. Today has been especially difficult as I have read through his programme for the next term and seen there are some quite big changes from my programmes. Despite knowing that the activities needed a freshen up, I didn't like reading it. I spent a long while trying to find fault with it, hoping (I'm ashamed to admit) that it wouldn't quite work out. And then, a day later than scheduled, I read chapter 4 of Bonhoeffer's book.

He opens with a paragraph dedicated to how people together will always try judging each other, will try and find fault, if they are weak people they will judge the strong; if they are strong they will show disdain to the weak. The solitary will attack the sociable whilst the sociable mock the solitary. It is human nature to judge and compare. But Bonhoeffer warns that this is the destruction of community. He says the main challenge is to control the tongue and ensure that thoughts do not get verbalised. The passage that struck me was: ' God did not make this person as I would have made him... God does not will that I should fashion the other person according to the image that seems good to me, that is, in my own image; rather in his very freedom from me God made this person in his image.' (p.71)

After feeling admonished and challenged by the opening paragraphs the rest of the chapter gave me much food for thought about being a minister. Before proclaiming the Word of God to anyone, each Christian must learn to listen, really listen, to those he will speak to. Not to see it as wasted time or an annoyance, but as part of Christ's ministry. Just as God listens to us, so we must listen to others. Also, we must learn to bear one another. Not just the burdens, but the things about others that irritate us, the things we don't like about other people. It is not an easy ministry, but it is important to then truly be able to speak to those same people.

Here's hoping for a better day tomorrow, full of listening and not so much speaking, or judging.

Dietrich Bonhoeffer - Life Together 3

Bonhoeffer moves on to talk about being alone. He recognises that many people become part of a church community out of fear of being alone. However, he believes that this is unhealthy for the individual and the community. In order for an individual and a community to be fully who they are meant to be every member of that community must have the correct balance between fellowship and solitude. This is something that I find difficult as I naturally prefer having people around. However, I am starting to value times alone and having periods of silence with no music and no tv on.

Bonhoeffer tells us that Christ calls each of us as individuals and that we die as individuals and face God as individuals. However, he also states that we are not the only one who is called, that we are supported by our community even to death, and that we will stand with the whole company of heaven.

Finally, Bonhoeffer instructs on daily personal devotions. Although sounding quite prescriptive and dry - much like the previous chapter on corporate devotions - he does raise an interesting point on perseverance. So often we are led to believe that if we are 'doing our devotions right' that we will have amazing spiritual experiences every day. This has done a lot of damage to me over the years as I quite often gave up for periods when I didn't experience what others say they experienced. I presumed I obviously wasn't doing it correctly - or maybe I wasn't a Christian at all. But Bonhoeffer encourages us to continue, whatever our experience because we are doing it to honour God and not to gain something ourselves. He also includes a real challenge to pray for members of our fellowship as much as for ourselves. This is certainly a habit I want to try and get into.

So - I shall endeavour to spend a bit more time in silence and alone each day and see what happens.

Dietrich Bonhoeffer - Life Together 2

After a break away from this book due to various activities at church and work during the last few weeks I have returned to read the second chapter - 'The day with others.'

My main criticism of the chapter was that it portrayed quite a dry structure to devotional life with other people on a daily basis. There was to be a Psalm, a reading from Scripture, a hymn and a prayer - and the prayer was to be led by the same person each day. There seemed very little scope for variety and the moving of the Spirit. However, there were some interesting points.

Firstly, he writes of having a daily pattern of devotions at the start of each day as a way of focussing on God throughout the whole day. This includes sharing meals together through the day as well. Although it may not always be possible to share devotions each morning with the same group of people it did make me realise how I often neglect my morning devotions, or see them as using up valuable time if I am busy, rather than seeing them as imperative for seeing me through the day. Bonhoeffer also writes of these devotions being done as a family. How many families spend time each day in prayer and worship?

Secondly he talks about the importance of reading larger passages of scripture each day rather than just short verses or passages. The point that interested me was that we needed to read the whole of Scripture through in order - reading from the Old and New Testaments simultaneously. While I don't necessarily think we always have to read it through in order, I have come to appreciate that so often we neglect large chunks of the Bible - especially when our Lectionary only covers certain parts of the Bible.

Finally, Bonhoeffer speaks of every meal shared between Christians as being a time of recognising Christ's presence. He mentions the unique place of the Lord's Supper, but emphasises the daily meal as a time of being aware that Jesus is present. And with this in mind, I'm off to share my meal with my family - hopefully more aware of an extra presence!

Dietrich Bonhoeffer - Life Together 1

I feel very lucky - I only have one book that I need to read before starting pre-ordination training in September. It has been decided by the staff and continuing students at Wesley House that we shall all read Bonhoeffer's 'Life Together' over the Summer break as a way of preparing to live in community in September. I have only just started my first read through but was struck by a comment he made. He writes:

'Just as surely as God desires to lead us to a knowledge of genuine Christian fellowship, so surely must we be overwhelmed by a great general disillusionment with others, with Christians in general, and, if we sare fortunate, with ourselves.'

This stopped me dead in my tracks. I read that statement again, and then re-read it a third and fourth time. Surely God doesn't desire that I feel disillusioned with others or myself. I can't believe that the basis for a solid Christian community was disillusionment. As this sentence came within the first few pages of the book I resigned myself to not liking the book. However, I read on, and was glad I did when I came across the next passage:

'God is not a God of emotions but the God of truth. Only the fellowship which faces such disillusionment, with all its unhappy and ugly aspects, begins to be what it should be in God's sight... The sooner this shock of disillusionment comes to...a community the better. A community which cannot bear and survive such a crisis, which insists upon keeping up is illusion when it should be shattered, permanently loses in that moment the promise of Christian community.'

I have not read such a powerful and honest appraisal about community in a long while, if at all. How often do we, as Christian communities, keep up an illusion that all is fine, when in fact, if we truly want to represent God's image of community, we should honestly acknowledge, welcome and deal with our ugly sides, our failings and our weaknesses - both personal and corporate. There are very few communities that actively welcome people warts and all - but the church should be one of them. And just imagine how interesting church meetings could become if we lived like that!

Human Nature shining through

This last week has been a difficult week. My replacement has started and the early signs are great. He seems very confidant and competent. He was the person I wanted to be offered the job and had to argue for this to happen. What is more he is liked by all the young people and volunteers so far. Surely, I should be the happy about all this? But human nature has crept in.

We have just got back from a camp with some of our young people and despite it being a great few days and lots of fun, I came away feeling slightly upset that I am being replaced - replaced at work and replaced in the hearts of the young people. How easy it is for jealousy to creep in. I try to be more like Christ, yet it is hard as human nature is always fighting to come to the fore.

I'm sure that when I leave I will be happy we have such a good replacement. Happy that all the hard work I have put in will not be wasted. Happy that the young people I care so much about are going to continue to recognise their potential.

But for now, for the next few weeks, life is hard as I slowly draw back from one life and move onto another. Prayers will be valued.