Dietrich Bonhoeffer - Life Together 4

God's timing is certainly good!! I am almost starting my final week at work and it is a bit difficult. My replacement has started and I have found it hard letting go and allowing him to make changes to all I have done over the last 5 years. Today has been especially difficult as I have read through his programme for the next term and seen there are some quite big changes from my programmes. Despite knowing that the activities needed a freshen up, I didn't like reading it. I spent a long while trying to find fault with it, hoping (I'm ashamed to admit) that it wouldn't quite work out. And then, a day later than scheduled, I read chapter 4 of Bonhoeffer's book.

He opens with a paragraph dedicated to how people together will always try judging each other, will try and find fault, if they are weak people they will judge the strong; if they are strong they will show disdain to the weak. The solitary will attack the sociable whilst the sociable mock the solitary. It is human nature to judge and compare. But Bonhoeffer warns that this is the destruction of community. He says the main challenge is to control the tongue and ensure that thoughts do not get verbalised. The passage that struck me was: ' God did not make this person as I would have made him... God does not will that I should fashion the other person according to the image that seems good to me, that is, in my own image; rather in his very freedom from me God made this person in his image.' (p.71)

After feeling admonished and challenged by the opening paragraphs the rest of the chapter gave me much food for thought about being a minister. Before proclaiming the Word of God to anyone, each Christian must learn to listen, really listen, to those he will speak to. Not to see it as wasted time or an annoyance, but as part of Christ's ministry. Just as God listens to us, so we must listen to others. Also, we must learn to bear one another. Not just the burdens, but the things about others that irritate us, the things we don't like about other people. It is not an easy ministry, but it is important to then truly be able to speak to those same people.

Here's hoping for a better day tomorrow, full of listening and not so much speaking, or judging.

Dietrich Bonhoeffer - Life Together 3

Bonhoeffer moves on to talk about being alone. He recognises that many people become part of a church community out of fear of being alone. However, he believes that this is unhealthy for the individual and the community. In order for an individual and a community to be fully who they are meant to be every member of that community must have the correct balance between fellowship and solitude. This is something that I find difficult as I naturally prefer having people around. However, I am starting to value times alone and having periods of silence with no music and no tv on.

Bonhoeffer tells us that Christ calls each of us as individuals and that we die as individuals and face God as individuals. However, he also states that we are not the only one who is called, that we are supported by our community even to death, and that we will stand with the whole company of heaven.

Finally, Bonhoeffer instructs on daily personal devotions. Although sounding quite prescriptive and dry - much like the previous chapter on corporate devotions - he does raise an interesting point on perseverance. So often we are led to believe that if we are 'doing our devotions right' that we will have amazing spiritual experiences every day. This has done a lot of damage to me over the years as I quite often gave up for periods when I didn't experience what others say they experienced. I presumed I obviously wasn't doing it correctly - or maybe I wasn't a Christian at all. But Bonhoeffer encourages us to continue, whatever our experience because we are doing it to honour God and not to gain something ourselves. He also includes a real challenge to pray for members of our fellowship as much as for ourselves. This is certainly a habit I want to try and get into.

So - I shall endeavour to spend a bit more time in silence and alone each day and see what happens.

Dietrich Bonhoeffer - Life Together 2

After a break away from this book due to various activities at church and work during the last few weeks I have returned to read the second chapter - 'The day with others.'

My main criticism of the chapter was that it portrayed quite a dry structure to devotional life with other people on a daily basis. There was to be a Psalm, a reading from Scripture, a hymn and a prayer - and the prayer was to be led by the same person each day. There seemed very little scope for variety and the moving of the Spirit. However, there were some interesting points.

Firstly, he writes of having a daily pattern of devotions at the start of each day as a way of focussing on God throughout the whole day. This includes sharing meals together through the day as well. Although it may not always be possible to share devotions each morning with the same group of people it did make me realise how I often neglect my morning devotions, or see them as using up valuable time if I am busy, rather than seeing them as imperative for seeing me through the day. Bonhoeffer also writes of these devotions being done as a family. How many families spend time each day in prayer and worship?

Secondly he talks about the importance of reading larger passages of scripture each day rather than just short verses or passages. The point that interested me was that we needed to read the whole of Scripture through in order - reading from the Old and New Testaments simultaneously. While I don't necessarily think we always have to read it through in order, I have come to appreciate that so often we neglect large chunks of the Bible - especially when our Lectionary only covers certain parts of the Bible.

Finally, Bonhoeffer speaks of every meal shared between Christians as being a time of recognising Christ's presence. He mentions the unique place of the Lord's Supper, but emphasises the daily meal as a time of being aware that Jesus is present. And with this in mind, I'm off to share my meal with my family - hopefully more aware of an extra presence!

Dietrich Bonhoeffer - Life Together 1

I feel very lucky - I only have one book that I need to read before starting pre-ordination training in September. It has been decided by the staff and continuing students at Wesley House that we shall all read Bonhoeffer's 'Life Together' over the Summer break as a way of preparing to live in community in September. I have only just started my first read through but was struck by a comment he made. He writes:

'Just as surely as God desires to lead us to a knowledge of genuine Christian fellowship, so surely must we be overwhelmed by a great general disillusionment with others, with Christians in general, and, if we sare fortunate, with ourselves.'

This stopped me dead in my tracks. I read that statement again, and then re-read it a third and fourth time. Surely God doesn't desire that I feel disillusioned with others or myself. I can't believe that the basis for a solid Christian community was disillusionment. As this sentence came within the first few pages of the book I resigned myself to not liking the book. However, I read on, and was glad I did when I came across the next passage:

'God is not a God of emotions but the God of truth. Only the fellowship which faces such disillusionment, with all its unhappy and ugly aspects, begins to be what it should be in God's sight... The sooner this shock of disillusionment comes to...a community the better. A community which cannot bear and survive such a crisis, which insists upon keeping up is illusion when it should be shattered, permanently loses in that moment the promise of Christian community.'

I have not read such a powerful and honest appraisal about community in a long while, if at all. How often do we, as Christian communities, keep up an illusion that all is fine, when in fact, if we truly want to represent God's image of community, we should honestly acknowledge, welcome and deal with our ugly sides, our failings and our weaknesses - both personal and corporate. There are very few communities that actively welcome people warts and all - but the church should be one of them. And just imagine how interesting church meetings could become if we lived like that!

Human Nature shining through

This last week has been a difficult week. My replacement has started and the early signs are great. He seems very confidant and competent. He was the person I wanted to be offered the job and had to argue for this to happen. What is more he is liked by all the young people and volunteers so far. Surely, I should be the happy about all this? But human nature has crept in.

We have just got back from a camp with some of our young people and despite it being a great few days and lots of fun, I came away feeling slightly upset that I am being replaced - replaced at work and replaced in the hearts of the young people. How easy it is for jealousy to creep in. I try to be more like Christ, yet it is hard as human nature is always fighting to come to the fore.

I'm sure that when I leave I will be happy we have such a good replacement. Happy that all the hard work I have put in will not be wasted. Happy that the young people I care so much about are going to continue to recognise their potential.

But for now, for the next few weeks, life is hard as I slowly draw back from one life and move onto another. Prayers will be valued.

Oliver Twist and Graham Kendrick

Friday night I went to Pizza Hut with the youth club I run as part of my work. A night out with pizza and young people is usually a good fun evening. However, this occasion was particularly engaging. As it turned out I was on a table with just one of our young people - a teenager with cerebral palsy. We often have discussions about faith and the world as his family are members of a local Anglican church. Tonight was no different.

We had a brief discussion about the theology of 'Shine Jesus shine.' He comes at the world from a very literal perspective which really made me think about what it meant to have Jesus shining on us - when he obviously doesn't literally shine on us. It was useful because we were singing this hymn today at church. I wonder how often we pick hymns and songs without fully thinking through the meaning of the words - or how we explain the images they talk of.

However, by far the biggest discussion was about Oliver Twist. This lad is appearing in a production of Oliver at his school. The discussion wasn't much about his role in the play, but rather about how upset the story made him - especially when Oliver wasn't allowed any more to eat. He couldn't understand a world where children didn't have enough to eat, where people had to steal to survive, where children were mistreated. He also couldn't understand why Dickens would want to write such an upsetting story.

This challenged me because I haven't tried engaging the young people I work with in issues of social justice enough. However, it also encouraged me because if we can encourage more young people to feel passionate about such issues as child neglect and poverty, then maybe, just maybe, we may have a better future. Charles Dickens wrote stories to challenge his society, I believe that we need modern day stories to do the same.

The Lord gives, and the Lord takes away

I'm really enjoying my job at the moment. Due to the number of activities we are doing each week I'm able to take Wednesdays off. This has led me and my dad to go out for a bike ride each week. Yesterday, we checked the forecast which said heavy showers were due by lunchtime, so we decided to risk it - despite the grey clouds overhead. We had been going for about one hour when the heavens opened - this was not lunchtime as they had predicted. Thankfully, there before us was a large tree - shelter for us from the rain. Isn't God good I marveled. He has provided for us in our need. Soon the shower stopped and we were on our way. However, when we were about 5 miles from home, and heading back along the towpath, the heavens opened once more. This time, it was no passing shower but a persistent deluge. I looked up, but there was no large tree in site - where was God now in our time of need???

As it happened, I really enjoyed the cycle home in the rain. We arrived caked in mud and soaked to the skin, but I thought it was good fun, I'm not sure Dad agreed. However, it did get me thinking that so often we only think of God being present when he meets our wants. We turn to him when we think our situation desperate and feel ignored if we don't receive what we ask for. How many of us have driven around car parks praying for a space, and that we spot it before all the others driving around, as though, just because we believe in God, he should give us that parking space first. I wonder how many of us in that situation stop and think about why the others may need the space before us. Or what should God do if there were two Christians driving round the car park looking for spaces - who gets priority? If you are like me, you will pray for sunshine when you are doing something outdoors, but then are worried when the farmers say that the crops aren't growing as there hasn't been enough rain. God was present with us on that bike ride. He may not have provided a big tree to shelter us, he may not have blown those clouds over so it didn't rain, but I did have a warm house and a hot shower when I got home - things that I could definitely be thankful for, and things that many others caught in the rain these last few weeks, because they have nowhere else to go, could only dream of. I wonder, what could we do to be the answer to someone's prayer today?