The moment to move has arrived

  And so, after months of preparation, the moment to move has arrived.  It seems like only 5 minutes ago that I was sitting, tired and jet-lagged, in my principal's office as I was told that I was being stationed in Sheffield; rather than the 7 months it has actually been.  In that time I have studied, pondered, relaxed, packed, prayed and tried to ready myself for this next step.

  So how do I feel?

  Excited... Nervous... Frightened... Calm

  It has been so many years since I first felt the call to ministry, and now I am taking one big step towards realising that call - moving to the place where I shall be minister.  One thing my training at college has taught me (among many things obviously!) is how big the role of ordained minister actually is.  This is the reason for my nerves and apprehension.  Yet in the final service at my home church in Berkshire we sang the Lord's my Shepherd including the chorus 'And I will trust in you alone/ and I will trust in you alone/ for your endless mercy follows me/ your goodness will lead me home.  Definitely reassuring.

  But it is not only apprehension - there is real excitement.  Excitement to serve and to lead.  Excitement to be among the people in Sheffield and being part of the very large Sheffield Circuit.  I can't wait to live in a part of the country with great walks and bike rides on my doorstep and yet also near the centre of the city.  One thing about which I'm quite thankful is the couple of weeks to settle in and find my feet before I actually begin.

  I believe God has called me, and now I must trust him to equip me.

'The Wilderness State'

Got a bit behind with my Wesley sermon reflections!  Sadly, not enough time to go and take any pictures.

The Wilderness State

It is easy to end up there - in the wilderness state.

Have you been there before?

Are you there now?

It is...

 A place where doubts surface, and faith subsides;

 A place where the love of God, and the love from God - 

   a love which had burned so bright and felt so warm in former days -

   fades into the darkness;

 A place where joy in the Holy Ghost is but a distant memory

   and peace which once passed all understanding now feels like a dream;

 A place where power over all sin has crumbled.

And one is just left.

Feeling alone.

This is the wilderness state.

But how did it come to this?

It is easy to end up there - in the wilderness state.

It may begin with the neglect of private prayer.

  It won't hurt if I just miss one day will it?

  But one day leads to another, and another.

  Without prayer, our life in Christ will gradually die away.

It may begin with a sin - just a small one - innocuous surely?

Or it could be allowing pride or anger; desire or temptation to build within us.

Are we ignorant about the truth of God?

Have we just given up?
There needs no more than not to fight, and we are sure to be conquered.

It is easy to end up there - in the wilderness state.
But do we have to remain there?

NO WE DO NOT!

Arise, and shake yourself from the dust.
Find the medicine which will cure your illness,
Find the light that will guide you out of darkness.

For each the medicine will be different:
But for each illness there is a medicine.
  Was it through a neglect of prayer?
  Then start praying!
    Was it through allowing pride or anger or desire to build up?
    Then confess it all to God.

Being renewed in the image of God is a lifelong process,
Temptations will come.
But when they do pray - pour out your souls before God.

It is easy to end up there - in the wilderness state.
But do not stay there.
The Scripture nowhere says, that the absence of God best perfects his work in the heart.
God desires that you choose life.
God desires that you leave the wilderness state.
For it is when you leave the wilderness state that you can experience God's love, joy and peace. 

'Free Grace'

As with last week, this is a reflection on the John Wesley sermon we are considering today at college.  Again, any words in italics are words from the sermon.  Please do read to the end!  Feel free to comment.

Free Grace

Who may enter the kingdom of heaven?

On what condition is someone granted entry?

Can one earn their way in?

Surely no-one is good enough for that.

Maybe, God chooses those God would like.

Maybe, before the dawn of time,

before any person ever lived or breathed,

God picked those who would live, and those who would die.

Maybe, out of all the world, it is but a little flock that are the special ones.

Maybe people will strive and search,

looking for a way in;

but are told that the doors are closed,

you are not welcome,

there is to be no entry.

This is not the God of Scripture!

Jesus said 'Come to me, all ye that are weary and heavy laden'

Was Jesus an hypocrite, a deceiver of the people, a man void of common sincerity?

Surely not!

The grace given by God is grace for all.

We are presented with "life and death" and encouraged to choose life.

All have the option to accept or reject the grace of God,

nothing is forced.

If we make the choice for life, it is a life which starts now.

A life which involves holy living, making choices each step of the way.

Each day we must choose life anew.

We must be wary not to stray from the path;

it may involve danger;

but will also bring blessing - in this life and the life to come.

The gate stands open

God is ready to welcome you in.

Choose life.

'Catholic Spirit'

As part of our formational studies at Wesley House this year we will be considering some of the sermons of John Wesley.  As such, I have decided to write a reflection each week on the sermon we will be considering.  My aim is that they will be more devotional than critical and will also use photos from wherever I happen to be that day to consider how the words of Wesley may still have relevance to the world today.  Any words in italics are the words from Wesley's sermon, and taken from Albert Outler and Richard Heitzenrater's anthology of Wesley's sermons, unless otherwise stated.

Catholic Spirit

Holy Trinity Church, Cambridge

We don't have to agree, you and I.

We may think differently about God or worship;

but though we can't think alike, may we not love alike?

May we not be of one heart, though we are not of one opinion?

We don't have to agree, nor should we be concerned to do so.

We can respect each other's differences;

We can allow each other to worship in which ever manner we believe most honours God;

Yet we can remain united as brothers and sisters in Christ.

Great St Mary's Church, Cambridge

This unity does not mean uniformity.

You may believe the episcopal form of church government to be scriptural

and I may not.

I may believe infants ought to be baptized

and you may not.

We must both act as each is fully persuaded in his or her own mind.

Eden Chapel, Cambridge

So to whom will we unite today?

How will we decide with whom to share this united love?

Are there any beliefs which can not be passed over?

Wesley Methodist Church, Cambridge

Is it enough or too much to say we can share a catholic spirit with all those who

believe in and love God;

believe in Jesus Christ;

are involved in doing the works of God;

serve God with fear

love their neighbour as themself

demonstrate their love in action?

Who else might we include or exclude?

Parker's Piece, Cambridge

So I offer you my hand.

Will you take it?

Will you also place opinions and practices to one side,
as I vow to do,

not as though they are unimportant,

but because they are not most important?

All Saints Church, Cambridge

Will you join me in love of one another,

in prayer for one another,

in encouragement of one another,

in service with one another?

St Andrew's St Baptist Church, Cambridge

We all have a story to tell

The final part of my bereavement training last week has left me with lots to think about. At the moment, the thought going round my head is that we do all have a story to tell. Our course leader encouraged us to engage bereaved people in their story, including the deceased person for whom they are grieving.

However, I think it goes wider than that. We are all in need to share our story, to see how our story fits in with those around us. The web of attachments each of us has is far reaching, and there will be points where they interlink. Church should be a place where stories are told and heard. It is surely as we tell our story, and listen to the stories of others, that meaning is given to our lives, and to the lives of those around us.

After all, those of us who are followers of Jesus are people of The Story. The story of God coming to earth to live among his creation. The story that continues through today and on into the future. It is as we gather and here the story of God, that we find our place in it, and our story, and God's story, merge together.

Bereavement

Yesterday I started a three day course on bereavement. It is going to cover many different angles that I may need to consider as a potential presbyter of the church. Here are some of the things that came out of the first day:

• Confronting my own death. We did an exercise imagining we were dead and watching what was going on. The interesting point was that I reacted far more when it came to my family finding out, rather than the part where I actually died. This was a really useful experience as it made me realise that I needed to plan more for if I died. It may be a bit morbid but it could be useful to my family to have planned some kind of funeral service. Do they know if I would prefer to be buried or cremated? Do they know if I would prefer a funeral service or a thanksgiving service? Do I know?
• We also considered the attachments that we build up. Some initially are for survival, but others are purely for affectionate reasons. The web of attachments is quite vast. This means that when someone does die, the loss is felt by many and in different ways depending on the attachment.
• It is important if someone knows they will die within a certain time span, for them to talk with family and friends. So all can be prepared. Talk about death - it is a natural and inevitable part of life. Encourage children to talk about death, maybe even attend the funeral, make it a positive experience - a chance to acknowledge loss and say goodbye.
• While it may be preferable to hold thanksgiving services and think only of the positive side of things, it is also important to acknowledge that people are mourning. Feeling grief isn't a weakness, it is a natural reaction, and we should be encouraging people to journey through it, not just skip over it because it is painful.
• What a minister says at funeral needs to speak to the immediate family, and to the other mourners. The family need comfort, permission to grieve. For them it is not a time for theology. However, the others present at the funeral may need some theology. So a funeral service needs to contain both. There does then need to be follow up where possible, because the time for theology will come.
• What we tell children about death is really important. We may want to make it sound better (e.g. Daddy has become a star) but often this just confuses them

Not bad for the first day! Although it often is heavy going, it is also really important stuff. Hopefully more to reflect on today.

Another hymn - this time from Hymns and Psalms

Here is another hymn that I have come across recently. It has been one used as a bit of a running joke at college, but as we decided to sing it this evening during community worship, I actually read the words - and they are very inspiring. It's just a shame that it hasn't been included in Singing the Faith.

Through the night of doubt and sorrow,

Onward goes the pilgrim band,

Singing songs of expectation,

Marching to the promised land.

One the object of our journey,

One the faith which never tires,

One the earnest looking forward,

One the hope our God inspires;

One the strain that lips of thousands

Lift as from the heart of one;

One the conflict, one the peril,

One the march in God begun;

One the light of God's own presence,

O'er his ransomed people shed,

Chasing far the gloom and terror,

Brightening all the path we tread;

One the gladness of rejoicing

On the far eternal shore,

Where the one almighty Father

Reigns in love for evermore.

Soon shall come the great awakening,

Soon the rending of the tomb;

Then the scattering of all shadows,

And the end of toil and gloom.

Bernhardt Severin Ingemann (1789-1862)